There were a number of child abductions in recent years that had one particularly alarming factor in common: even though the abductors were total strangers, the youngsters- ranging from two to twelve years of age- went willingly with the individuals. In each of the incidents there were other people around- from authority figures to bystanders- who would have helped the kids if the kids had expressed the need for help, but the kids did not express this need and simply walked away with the strangers. (To clarify: for a kidnapping or abduction to take place, the person does not need to be taken by force- this crime occurs when someone who does not have the legal authority to do so takes a youngster without consent from the youngster's parent or lawful guardian). More to the point: there was nothing in the children's behaviors that let anyone know that anything was wrong.
When my oldest was in elementary school, one of the many books I purchased from a well-known company that supplied books to school kids was “Just Say No!” (I contacted the company recently, but unfortunately it's no longer available). The book presented a variety of dangerous or potentially dangerous situations a youngster might encounter, along with actions they could take to stay safe. Depending on the situation, examples included “Just say NO!,” scream, run, dash into a store and ask an employee to call the police, etc. While the main theme was kids have the right to be safe, the additional theme was they have rights in general.
Around the same time, my friend's daughter came home from school talking about a child safety program in her school. The fourth-grader asked her mother what to do if the person was an authority figure. Her mother replied it's often impossible to know, because individuals who harm kids often go to extremes to trick youngsters- pretending to be police officers, pretending to be the parent's friend, pretending to have a lost pet, and so forth.
But while it may be impossible to make youngsters completely immune to trickery, it does not explain the very odd reactions of the youngsters in this first paragraph- quietly and cheerfully accompanying individuals who had not used any trickery.
While a certain type of 'poison' has probably been around for generations, it does appear to be spreading, 'no thanks' to the www, self-publishing, and similar options individuals have these days: 'Children need to learn to submit to authority;' 'Children must be taught to obey- every day, every way, without questioning;' and the most poisonous approach I've seen- two weeks of age is not too early to 'break a child's will' and 'train' obedience. Two weeks of age- infants, newborns. This goes waaay beyond child abuse- and sets kids up to be victimized. Perhaps this is why the youngsters 'willingly and cheerfully' accompanied total strangers who led them away from safety.
'Training' kids to silently comply with whatever a 'grown-up' says is dangerous enough. Out-of-home childcare- especially as it's presented these days 'from birth- can make it more so. Not only are young children and even babies encouraged or forced to 'obey' strangers, they are encouraged to trust strangers, too. It is expecting too much to expect a youngster to ascertain the difference between a stranger they meet in the daycare center (such as a new teacher or other children's parents) is trustworthy, but a stranger they meet in a grocery store or a park may not be.
These approaches put children at risk. Instead, what children 'need to learn' and 'must be taught' is that they have the right to be safe- including the right to 'just say No,' to run for help, or what could have saved the life of the one child who walked out of school with someone he didn't know: 'I will not go with you without checking with my parent.' Two of these youngsters were eventually murdered by their abductors- changes must be made so more children aren't similarly victimized.
When my oldest was in elementary school, one of the many books I purchased from a well-known company that supplied books to school kids was “Just Say No!” (I contacted the company recently, but unfortunately it's no longer available). The book presented a variety of dangerous or potentially dangerous situations a youngster might encounter, along with actions they could take to stay safe. Depending on the situation, examples included “Just say NO!,” scream, run, dash into a store and ask an employee to call the police, etc. While the main theme was kids have the right to be safe, the additional theme was they have rights in general.
Around the same time, my friend's daughter came home from school talking about a child safety program in her school. The fourth-grader asked her mother what to do if the person was an authority figure. Her mother replied it's often impossible to know, because individuals who harm kids often go to extremes to trick youngsters- pretending to be police officers, pretending to be the parent's friend, pretending to have a lost pet, and so forth.
But while it may be impossible to make youngsters completely immune to trickery, it does not explain the very odd reactions of the youngsters in this first paragraph- quietly and cheerfully accompanying individuals who had not used any trickery.
While a certain type of 'poison' has probably been around for generations, it does appear to be spreading, 'no thanks' to the www, self-publishing, and similar options individuals have these days: 'Children need to learn to submit to authority;' 'Children must be taught to obey- every day, every way, without questioning;' and the most poisonous approach I've seen- two weeks of age is not too early to 'break a child's will' and 'train' obedience. Two weeks of age- infants, newborns. This goes waaay beyond child abuse- and sets kids up to be victimized. Perhaps this is why the youngsters 'willingly and cheerfully' accompanied total strangers who led them away from safety.
'Training' kids to silently comply with whatever a 'grown-up' says is dangerous enough. Out-of-home childcare- especially as it's presented these days 'from birth- can make it more so. Not only are young children and even babies encouraged or forced to 'obey' strangers, they are encouraged to trust strangers, too. It is expecting too much to expect a youngster to ascertain the difference between a stranger they meet in the daycare center (such as a new teacher or other children's parents) is trustworthy, but a stranger they meet in a grocery store or a park may not be.
These approaches put children at risk. Instead, what children 'need to learn' and 'must be taught' is that they have the right to be safe- including the right to 'just say No,' to run for help, or what could have saved the life of the one child who walked out of school with someone he didn't know: 'I will not go with you without checking with my parent.' Two of these youngsters were eventually murdered by their abductors- changes must be made so more children aren't similarly victimized.