I recently finished reading a book- it was interesting, but inaccurate. When discussing individuals born between 1970 and the late 1990s, the author claims the 'self-esteem movement' is the reason so many are self-centered and unable to cope with the real world. The catch: I've yet to find anyone who had these experiences- 'Everybody gets a trophy... Teachers cannot mark an answer as wrong because it will make the student 'feel bad'... No competition in sports or academics, and no Honor Rolls... The primary purpose of schooling is to teach kids to 'feel good about themselves'... and so forth. While I'm sure a steady diet of 'self-esteem' would not yield positive results, it doesn't seem as common as the author claims it has been.
Instead, there's an entirely different influence that's been around since the late 1960s. While most of us dismiss it as nonsense, its popularity has continued because too many individuals are tempted to jump on every dopey fad and trend that comes along- and as the consumers continue to exist, so does the so-called 'self-help' industry: there's something wrong with every person, everyone's life, you should not be content or happy or satisfied, all your time should be spent on 'finding yourself,' and It's All About You. Young people cannot be faulted if they have heard this all their lives.
One of the most popular authors had a section in one of his books where he asked the readers to put themselves in this situation: You need an onion, so you go to a grocery store; you see the store does not sell individual onions, only bags of onions. The author asks the reader what he or she would do in this situation- you definitely should not inconvenience yourself by going to a different store, buy a bag of onions when you only want one, or, heaven forbid, do without an onion when you want one... and he proceeds to tell the reader the 'correct' course of action is to break open a bag and take the one you want. This scenario is a good example of what individuals have been bombarded with for decades: you should not consider how it inconveniences the store, its employees, or other customers- it's all about you.
Another title by the same author: You Don't Need Their Approval. However, his viewpoint is not about doing what you believe is right, it's about stomping on other people's rights, having no concern for others' needs or feelings, and essentially handing them the middle finger if they're not ok with it.
This nonsense is everywhere. Some blog titles I've seen recently include 'I will love myself!' and 'The power of believing in yourself!' Images have little quotes such as 'Your #1 responsibility in life is to make yourself happy!' and a tv commercial for a men's hair product has an individual who appears to be at least in his mid-fifties exclaiming 'Life's about having fun!'
One book compared viewpoints- and values- between generations. When an older woman was asked what she considered the most important characteristics, she replied hard-working, trustworthy, responsible... and a young adult replied the most important characteristic is to be happy. Although the older woman was somewhat older than myself, it was as if she were speaking for most of our generation- she said being happy is a by-product of those other characteristics, not an end or goal in itself.
I was also reading an interaction between a young adult and his father. The younger person was sarcastic and snotty. When the father said it should not be that difficult to be polite, the younger individual exclaimed 'But I need to be honest!' In other words, the term 'honest' now means rude, crude, in-your-face arrogance.
Not too many years ago, I produced some material for a website known as the thirty wasted years. The site was about how the 'self-help' industry has weakened people, ruined relationships, caused people to doubt themselves and others, and, essentially, turned people into creeps. And Boomers cannot fault the younger generations for picking up these attitudes and behaviors if it is what they've heard all their lives.
Instead, there's an entirely different influence that's been around since the late 1960s. While most of us dismiss it as nonsense, its popularity has continued because too many individuals are tempted to jump on every dopey fad and trend that comes along- and as the consumers continue to exist, so does the so-called 'self-help' industry: there's something wrong with every person, everyone's life, you should not be content or happy or satisfied, all your time should be spent on 'finding yourself,' and It's All About You. Young people cannot be faulted if they have heard this all their lives.
One of the most popular authors had a section in one of his books where he asked the readers to put themselves in this situation: You need an onion, so you go to a grocery store; you see the store does not sell individual onions, only bags of onions. The author asks the reader what he or she would do in this situation- you definitely should not inconvenience yourself by going to a different store, buy a bag of onions when you only want one, or, heaven forbid, do without an onion when you want one... and he proceeds to tell the reader the 'correct' course of action is to break open a bag and take the one you want. This scenario is a good example of what individuals have been bombarded with for decades: you should not consider how it inconveniences the store, its employees, or other customers- it's all about you.
Another title by the same author: You Don't Need Their Approval. However, his viewpoint is not about doing what you believe is right, it's about stomping on other people's rights, having no concern for others' needs or feelings, and essentially handing them the middle finger if they're not ok with it.
This nonsense is everywhere. Some blog titles I've seen recently include 'I will love myself!' and 'The power of believing in yourself!' Images have little quotes such as 'Your #1 responsibility in life is to make yourself happy!' and a tv commercial for a men's hair product has an individual who appears to be at least in his mid-fifties exclaiming 'Life's about having fun!'
One book compared viewpoints- and values- between generations. When an older woman was asked what she considered the most important characteristics, she replied hard-working, trustworthy, responsible... and a young adult replied the most important characteristic is to be happy. Although the older woman was somewhat older than myself, it was as if she were speaking for most of our generation- she said being happy is a by-product of those other characteristics, not an end or goal in itself.
I was also reading an interaction between a young adult and his father. The younger person was sarcastic and snotty. When the father said it should not be that difficult to be polite, the younger individual exclaimed 'But I need to be honest!' In other words, the term 'honest' now means rude, crude, in-your-face arrogance.
Not too many years ago, I produced some material for a website known as the thirty wasted years. The site was about how the 'self-help' industry has weakened people, ruined relationships, caused people to doubt themselves and others, and, essentially, turned people into creeps. And Boomers cannot fault the younger generations for picking up these attitudes and behaviors if it is what they've heard all their lives.