My much-older siblings had something in common with our parents' generation: when they were young adults, they 'weren't, really.' What I mean by that: both generations often found themselves with adult responsibilities, but without the full rights and privileges of adults. As one example: my eldest brother was serving in the US military in Vietnam while he was still unable to vote. While state laws vary, these laws changed when I was in junior high school- not only could 18-year-olds vote, in my home state a person achieved full legal adult status on their 18th birthdays. There were many reasons this made sense- but newer laws are in place that are worse than the older generations dealt with.
One outrageous remark I read by a family counselor: 'Sometimes parents and kids just don't need each other anymore.' That was his approach to justifying teenagers taking legal action and going to court to sever their relationships with their parents in a process known as 'emancipating minors.' It is only one example of how many are pressing to make parents- and families in general- obsolete. As another example, I was stunned when I read on a forum that a couple was threatened by a counselor that they could lose custody of their 13-year-old because they insisted he attend church with them when he did not wish to do so. The trend has been moving in the direction of expecting parents to bring children into the world and then leave the kids to their own devices or outside influences, or risk the relationship ending.
Laws and procedures for emancipation vary from state to state. Curious, I checked one friend's home state, and was pleasantly surprised to see her state takes the approach that 'youth law' is for teens and their families. If a teen has a grievance, the family is brought together to discuss the complaints and work toward solutions. In addition, it meets what I've heard referred to as transparency: the agencies dealing with youth law issues are 100% upfront with who they are, what they do, and what they try to accomplish.
Unfortunately, this is not the approach everywhere. In another location, curiosity led me into a youth law agency. Or, more accurately, tried to- before I could get through the door, a person who worked there ushered me back out, remarking in a hostile tone: 'We do NOT talk to PARENTS!' So with a little help from search engines, I found a business review- and it's much different from the friend's state mentioned above. In this other location, it's not about helping teens with a variety of issues- the #1 item on their list is Emancipation. Instead of 'youth and their families,' it echoed what the woman said at the agency: they will not speak with anyone who is over 18 years of age, and will not even take phone calls from adults unless they are 'professionals who work with youth.' And instead of the transparency I noticed on the former site, attempting to see the agency's actual website brought 'ACCESS DENIED!'- one needs 'special permission' to even look at their website.
Seems similar to another state I checked: instead of assisting teens and their families in resolving differences and keep families intact, teenagers are encouraged to sneak behind their parents' backs, offered free legal advice and assistance, and parents may not even know anything is wrong until they receive a summons to appear in court and be told 'Your kid doesn't have to live with you anymore!' Frankly, I believe almost all parents deserve better than that.
Bear in mind emancipation has nothing to do with abuse or neglect. There are social services agencies in place to help kids who have these issues at home. What it is is giving kids legal recourse when they do not want to follow rules, and/or want 100% freedom. And it gives kids all the wrong messages for what the real world is all about.
One outrageous remark I read by a family counselor: 'Sometimes parents and kids just don't need each other anymore.' That was his approach to justifying teenagers taking legal action and going to court to sever their relationships with their parents in a process known as 'emancipating minors.' It is only one example of how many are pressing to make parents- and families in general- obsolete. As another example, I was stunned when I read on a forum that a couple was threatened by a counselor that they could lose custody of their 13-year-old because they insisted he attend church with them when he did not wish to do so. The trend has been moving in the direction of expecting parents to bring children into the world and then leave the kids to their own devices or outside influences, or risk the relationship ending.
Laws and procedures for emancipation vary from state to state. Curious, I checked one friend's home state, and was pleasantly surprised to see her state takes the approach that 'youth law' is for teens and their families. If a teen has a grievance, the family is brought together to discuss the complaints and work toward solutions. In addition, it meets what I've heard referred to as transparency: the agencies dealing with youth law issues are 100% upfront with who they are, what they do, and what they try to accomplish.
Unfortunately, this is not the approach everywhere. In another location, curiosity led me into a youth law agency. Or, more accurately, tried to- before I could get through the door, a person who worked there ushered me back out, remarking in a hostile tone: 'We do NOT talk to PARENTS!' So with a little help from search engines, I found a business review- and it's much different from the friend's state mentioned above. In this other location, it's not about helping teens with a variety of issues- the #1 item on their list is Emancipation. Instead of 'youth and their families,' it echoed what the woman said at the agency: they will not speak with anyone who is over 18 years of age, and will not even take phone calls from adults unless they are 'professionals who work with youth.' And instead of the transparency I noticed on the former site, attempting to see the agency's actual website brought 'ACCESS DENIED!'- one needs 'special permission' to even look at their website.
Seems similar to another state I checked: instead of assisting teens and their families in resolving differences and keep families intact, teenagers are encouraged to sneak behind their parents' backs, offered free legal advice and assistance, and parents may not even know anything is wrong until they receive a summons to appear in court and be told 'Your kid doesn't have to live with you anymore!' Frankly, I believe almost all parents deserve better than that.
Bear in mind emancipation has nothing to do with abuse or neglect. There are social services agencies in place to help kids who have these issues at home. What it is is giving kids legal recourse when they do not want to follow rules, and/or want 100% freedom. And it gives kids all the wrong messages for what the real world is all about.